sorry i haven’t updated in a while, i’ve been meaning to write a return post since coming back from Nicaragua, but i just never got around to it in Taiwan. 

being back here is strange.  like i just woke up from a dream that you can make a whole movie about.  i mean come on, Nicaragua is even spelled like Narnia! (kinda)

one of the first things i noticed upon returning is how much stuff i have.  i mean, it’s crazy just how much clothes i have compared to some of the families there.  i alone, have enough for about 2 families… geez, i remember getting mad at my community college’s bookstore for having a sign saying “You can never have too many t-shirts” while they were selling a bunch of t-shirts.  after walking through my closet and seeing all the unworn-for-so-long shirts and jackets and pants…  it’s a tragedy.  i never felt like such a hypocrite until now.

you know, they say we’re blessed.  God keeps BLESSING us.  like we’re especially loved by Him or something, and other people are loved too, yet not like us.  truth be told, i think God loves us all equally, but it’s how we choose to receive that love that determines how blessed we feel.  if that’s really the case, then i think that i would rather live like the Nicaraguans in terms of materialism.  Why?  Well, once you see how great of a distraction all of that stuff is, you begin to realize how much greater God is without it. 

like i’ve said before…  i never want to be rich.  but the problem with that is it’ll bother me when people look down on me.  i also might get jealous from time-to-time, wishing i had the stuff they had, not because i really wanted it, but just because the other person has it.  anyways, im going on a tangent-  the bottom line is, without so many electronics or clothes or whatever it may be distracting you, life can become about God and people.  It takes away that empty feeling that you get when you have too much.

also, i went to church in Taiwan this past Sunday, and it was an English speaking service.  Never would i have thought Nicaragua would have affected me in this way, but i was so overjoyed to sing praise songs in English and hear an English sermon.  It was really great because i use to take it for granted:  to hear the gospel and praise the Lord in full understanding.  It’s silly, i know, but it’s when things are taken away from you that you begin to understand how valuable it truly was. 

i can go on forever about what i’ve learned and what im still learning upon returning.  what i valued before and what i found to be important have turned to ashes in my hands.  all that’s left is all i need.  

yeah, i may be back in in the states, but my heart’s still aching to be free from all the superficial…  only rarely in the states do i get to love on the level that i loved in Nicaragua.  anyways, thank you all for all the support and prayers-  God bless you guys

ps.  if i tried to write a book, would anyone read it?  im just curious.  not saying i was going to and im not trying to feed my ego or anything… let me know!

I’m finding myself through these people.  Back home, I can say I have a heart for the homeless (which is true), but until you’re out there praying with them or just being Christ to them…  It’s like being blinded with a burst of light and all that needs to be revealed is revealed.

A while ago, I began buying water bottles here (for 10 cordoba and 22 cordoba is 1 US dollar) and handing them out to the homeless people in Jinotepe.  I would say “Dios te Bendiga” and it was good, and they were thankful, but only God knows what they’ve been through. 

A few days ago, I was with Brittney again, and I asked her if she wanted to pray for this guy sitting on a bench with his head in his hands.  Brittney said she did.  She walked up to him and tapped his shoulder, and he was unsure of what we wanted, but when we asked him how he was, he immediately wanted to share his story.  He was so desperate to be heard… and though our spanish isn’t great, we asked him if we could pray with him.  He told us he didn’t ever pray or talk to God.  We asked him if it would bother him if we prayed for him, and he sat there for a second thinking about it before he said it was okay. 

We prayed, and when we were done he couldn’t speak, he was on the verge of breaking into tears.  I gave him a water bottle, and Brittney gave him a bag of chips.  He kissed our hands and thanked us…

It almost hurt-  I mean, I can buy that water for about 50 US cents, and instead I’m worried of giving too much money away.  How hard is it to just think of someone else for once instead of worrying only about how we look like to other people?  To think of the homeless as people with stories, and not just people that aren’t well off and too bad for them. 

Yeah, I want to do this for the rest of my life.  To care about people like I say I do. 

I can’t help but feel like the longer I stay here, the harder it will be to go home.  I mean, I’ll go home of course, but I simply CAN’T go back to being so…  comfortable.

We were praying for people in the Barrios a few weeks ago.  I remember specifically praying for one woman… Her leg was absolutely horrible, the bone fractured in her shin, and her foot was turning black.  Yet, she was so kind to us, and was so happy to pray with us. 

My friend, Tray, is only 18 years old.  He has very little to live off of, and is in a foreign city by himself.  He has a baby boy.  I gave him a wristband the other day that said “Dios te Bendiga” meaning “God bless you”.  He gave me back a ring.  He asked me to remember him. 

If I remember anything at the end of my life, I’d remember him before remembering any dollar bill I ever spent or any trophy I ever won. 

They define generosity.  The other day, we were at church and I saw a pregnant girl walk in.  She must have been about 16 or 17, and she looked so lonely.  They pass the tithe around and guess who puts money in between the two of us.  I’m truly blessed to have witnessed that… 

A kid here named Mainor won some cookies a few Sundays ago for answering a question right.  It was a pack of four…  He gave me one, my friend Johnny one, his brother one, and broke the last one in half to give to his other brother.  A part of me doesn’t understand.  In the place where there is hardly any food, and less clean water, this child can still give so much away.   His house is made out of tin, and is full of holes. 

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The spiritual warfare is tough.  The other day in the barrios, we were “prayer walking” and came across a man having a seizure.  When he came to, we prayed for him.  Later, my friend Ali said she prayed to see the “spiritual realm” before heading into the barrios that day, and she said she saw something reaching out of the man while we were praying for him. 

Today, we went prayer walking again, and saw the soccer team we were trying to raise money for.  They were playing in some sort of tournament, but the giant wall on the side of the street was covered in graffiti.  There were pictures of the world trade center on a birthday cake, and of people doing some sort of sacrifice to an evil being.  It was demented, yet it is on the side of a park here.  Then there was an attempted murder over a bad soccer call…  Long story.

I just can’t get use to it, all the death and evil that have become common place here.  Every time we go to the Barrios…  Last visit ALONE, I saw a dead baby bird being eaten by flies, half of a jaw bone with its teeth still attached, and a dead dog.  We see leg-less people here so often that it’s become part of the natural background…

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Yet even still, there are truly beautiful people here.  I love spending time with the natives, and just seeing how they love praising God.  I love the fact that they call me their brother, that I can call them my brothers too.  I spend time with Carlos, a native here all the time.  He’s teaching me so much about life here, I don’t know how I can go back to the states.  The things they see do not make them weak…  It makes them stronger in the Lord.

I’m out of time though, so until next time.

PS- Please keep praying for this place.  This is not just a hollow request, we really need prayers- for the people here to find God.  For my elbow, since it’s extremely painful moving it, and just for the team.  Thanks, love you guys.  adios.

It’s hard to wake up here sometimes.  It’s not like America, that’s for sure.  The first AC I had since leaving Texas was at the bank today.

It’s so dang hard, having a heart for people when you’re comfortable where you’re at.

I’m thankful for my teammate Brittney (and all of my teammates really) for stepping up the other day when we were at the Internet/Diner here.  We saw a beggar, who was chased away by a worker, and she was the only one who seemed to care.  She asked us (me, ali, and diane) if we should do something, which kind of shook me, and so the two of us got up and chased him down and gave him some of our food.

( Know that I’m not sharing this to brag about our good deed, because God was the one who gave us the courage to do this.  Please know that I would never have done this if God did not stir my heart. )

After giving him the food, Brittney asked him if we could pray for him. 

…I was stunned.  Where did this boldness in her come from?  More so, where did this boldness that I once had go?

She began to pray for him, even through the stares and laughter of random people on the sidewalk.  I prayed after her, and when we finished, I saw an older woman watching us.  Brittney and I walked back to Terry’s and the lady found us.  She began to talk to all four of us in Spanish, and we learned that she was sick and had a deep pain in her body (or maybe her sister had the pain).  We prayed for her too, and I realized something.  Stepping out in courage, encourages others to do so too.  It encouraged the lady to talk to us.  It encouraged me to move.  It probably encouraged more people than that too.  Who knows?

What are we afraid of?  I use to be afraid to do good things for others because I didn’t want it to seem like I’m trying to do it for show. 

I know people are afraid to do good things for others because they’re afraid of rejection.  Afraid of being laughed at.

Well, there’s no fear in love.

I challenge you guys to start doing loving things, even when that means taking yourself out of your comfort zone.  Do it, not for others to see, but for the genuine purpose of spreading God’s love. 

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Also, we are trying to fund a soccer team here from the Barrios, and they have so little.  They are trying to raise money for shoes, jerseys, and balls. 

They’re looked at like they’re criminals (because they have nothing almost), but they’re really just trying to find freedom in soccer.  Our pastor here, Pastor Luis, is trying to help them understand that Jesus is so much greater than soccer is, but he still wants us to help fund them.  We don’t really know where to start, please let me know if you’d like to donate or have any ideas on how we could raise money for them!  Thanks guys.  Love yall.

The days here have started to blend together.

I can’t really tell them apart, but for a while, we began settling into this routine…  Wake up, go through the motions of church and playing with poverty-stricken kids, and then hang out for a while before going to sleep.

I was getting pretty comfortable really, but I felt like there had to be more of a reason of why we were called here.  It was something I was getting a little numb to, like “is this it, really?”


Well now we’ve seen the enemy.


The other day, Bonnie (our hostess) told us what was really happening in the barrios.  Keep in mind, we live about 2 minutes walking from them, and see them every day.  From what she said, the fathers and brothers sexually abuse the girls of their own family from the age of 5 to the age of about 12.  At around age 5, the girls are “initiated” and passed around, from family member to family member.  They stop around age 12 to prevent pregnancy, but then they get boyfriends and get pregnant at really early ages.  It’s normal here, a hush-hush kind of thing.  It’s horrifying to know that this sort of thing plagues the very people we play games with every day.

You don’t understand how precious these kids are until you’re around them.  They have so much love, and I have never had to trust God as much as I do now to change things.  Though the physical disease here is nauseating (I saw 4 dead frogs and a dead bird all within five feet of each other today), the spiritual disease is so much worse.  It almost looks like God isn’t here, like He said good-bye to this place a long time ago.  But if you look at the smiles of the children, the warmth of their hugs and love in their laughter, you can see God is still working.  He is still moving this place with an overwhelming hope and love within the hearts of the children, one that cannot be ignored.

If there is anything I know, I know God can wash this place clean.  He can make all things new.  Please pray for the people here, to turn from their ways.  Please pray for us, as we now realize what we’re facing.  We don’t know where to begin, we just know we need to begin. 

Honestly, I feel like God wants us to start something here, but I doubt He’ll have us see this whole thing through.  Even when we leave, God won’t, and the love here won’t be stopped.  Please pray for us to begin a renewal here.  Freedom. 

Today, half of our team prayed for the barrios, just walking through and praying over everything.  My heart is on fire, the battle has begun.

It’s been about a week now, and I’m starting to get use to things here. I haven’t gotten sick, but a couple of my teammates have so please pray for them.

For the first five days, I’ve been getting closer to the teenagers here since I’ve been playing soccer with them every chance I get- It’s been cool since I started off terrible and though I’m still pretty bad, I’ve become a lot better already. They’re a lot like the kids I grew up with in my neighborhood, though it’s a totally different culture. They’ve definitely helped me with my Spanish, and they go to church three times a week so it’s hard to teach them who God is. They understand it’s not about church, but a relationship with God. They’re also very good kids, I just worry they’ll get tired of church someday because they go so much now and just stop going altogether. I hope we, as missionaries, give them a new vantage of the possibilities and impossibilities of God.

The past two days though, I’ve finally stopped being so shy with the little kids, (3-8 year olds) and wrestled them in really soft grass and climbed trees with them yesterday. It was a lot of fun, but today was something else. Half of us went to a senior center here and the other half (my half) went to a handicapped children’s school. It was strange, I didn’t know what to expect. I thought it was just going to be something to finish up with before going to town, but when I got there, I found myself alone in the classroom for the deaf. I was a little intimidated since everyone was shouting, and I couldn’t even understand the teacher, but then two of the boys grabbed me and started wanting me to play with them. One of them in particular, maybe about six years old, wanted me to draw with him so we drew. We drew everything he could find, and the other one played karate with me (assuming I was a master since I was chinese lol). After karate, he started teaching me the alphabet in sign-language. It was strange, I had to fight back tears, it broke my heart. Who would’ve thought that 20 minutes with these special kids would move me so much. We went out and other classes of special kids came out and we played mini-basketball where they kept wanting me to dunk on a 8 foot goal. It was a lot of fun actually, and one kid in particular, though I didn’t find anything wrong with him (maybe autism), kept calling me his “mejor amigo” and wanted me to come back every day. He broke my heart, waving good-bye on the bus pretty much asking me over and over to be back tomorrow. We’re only suppose to go back once a week, but I’m going to ask if I can go more.

My friend Emma said she lived in Granada, and that she took care of a child (who was in the same school organization) who was LITERALLY raised by dogs. She was found only two weeks before she got there, and Emma took care of her six hours a day six days a week. She said she cried every day going home. God was moving then. God is moving now.

I’m out of time- until next time.

Training Camp: Met the team at the airport-  It was a bit awkward, but that was only to be expected.  How else do you approach people knowing that they’re going to be family in two months?

First night, they put us out unexpectedly to sleep outdoors.  It was a pretty BAD surprise, but a great way to get to know the team.  I am really glad to know that the people I’m with are so down to earth, and every day was encouraging as I got to know them better.  The worship was AMAZING, but there were a few things that I didn’t completely agree with.  In the end, I was glad to be there, and we actually met up with ALL people going on Real Life mission trips that summer, so the people going to Thailand, New Zealand, Africa, the depths of the Peruvian Jungle, and many more places… were all there.  It was exciting to know that in a few days we would all be around the world, praising God together with people of different cultures and languages.

I couldn’t help thinking after worship, “What we do in here, let us do out there.  Let us dance for you, let us dance for you.”

The people I was with were so God-filled- there were about 200 of us, all seeking to praise and glorify God.  I remember one particular conversation about Jesus, I was just sitting and asking questions atheists would ask to see how they would answer, but they were very loving and gave amazing answers that I never personally thought about.  I could see that the two people I was talking to ( not on my team and younger than me) were going to do amazing things for God’s kingdom.

Nicaragua:

Wow.

It’s been a pretty powerful couple days.  This is our second full day in Nicaragua- We’ve played with the children in the slums, and played soccer with the people here.  We’ve gone to church once and it was really good.  The sermon was about loving instead of condemning because we all have sinned.  I’m giving a sermon tomorrow for the youth here!  Please pray for me!  We’ve prayed together with people who speak Spanish only (my Spanish is greatly improving too btw), and it’s been amazing praising God and sharing His love with the people here.  I really hope though, that we don’t forget that we’re here to share Jesus, not just to be friendly people.  I feel like that’s all we’re doing so far, and I hope to break that tomorrow with my sermon.  PLEASE PRAY for that.  Being loving is a part of being a Christian, but that is NOT all a Christian is.

We’re still breaking through to the people here though, and I’m really loving it.  I’m seeing Jesus everywhere.  Thank you guys. 

Dios de benediga amigos ;)

pics to come later!

just a few days away now. 

im here chillin’ at the edge of a great transition in my life, and i can’t help but feel numb at the moment.

i think it’s because i’m facing the realization that im leaving the world i know behind.  lots of things i’ve come to understand about this part of my life is coming to an end and i have to come to terms with that.  i’m pretty comfortable now, and i don’t want it to end…  but im glad it played out the way it did, and to have experienced what i’ve experienced.

God is difficult to understand sometimes, but im glad to have Him lead my path and am so thankful to Him that He let me meet the people that i’ve met.  i hate saying goodbye, but i can’t wait to come back new and wiser, and share everything i’ve learned in this two month trip.  i can’t wait to share the gospel with the people in Nicaragua, and i can’t wait to go on this awesome adventure.  it’s like my life is set free, and i finally get to do God’s calling and find joy in helping others. 

but i still am uncertain about a lot of it.  im going in very blind, so please continue to pray for me, and for the people im going with, and for the people who are over there still in search of Christ.  Please pray for God to use every bit of us, so people will know who Christ is :)

i know i said im numb to this, but i meant from leaving all of what i know.

though i’ll only be gone for a few months, im sure many things will change as i learn more about myself, others, and God.  So my current self is about to begin to slowly fade… i just wanted to say bye, while i’m still me.  don’t get me wrong, i can’t wait to come back as a more learned person in Christ, and share all that God has taught me there…   but that won’t be until later on.

SALT,

you guys have no idea how much you all mean to me.  i remember the first day still, how you all came and introduced yourself to me.  i am so thankful, for being able to know you guys.  i mean that sincerely, God has truly blessed me by letting me be a part of such a wonderful fellowship.  i love you guys so much, it’s crazy.  thank you all for being a part of my life, and helping me grow closer to God and helping me get to know myself better.  i can’t wait to come back with what God shows me out there and share it with you guys.  im also thankful to God for letting us grow together at Rec Week.  you guys are family, and i’ll be praying for each one of you guys while im away.  please pray for me too :)

i also want to give a sincere thanks to everyone who donated, because i wouldn’t be able to go without you.  thank you so much, it’s hard to even express how grateful i am…  thank you for letting me go search for something beyond what i know.  i promise to let you guys know what i find.  God bless you all.

and thank you to the ones who took the time out to pray for me about this whole thing.  God has been so gracious, and has provided fully.  i ask that you all may continue to pray for the people there to know Christ, and for the trip to be a great learning experience for myself and the people i’m going with.  please pray for our hearts to be set on the Lord, and not on self-gain. 

i don’t want to make this post too long, but if you have any questions or anything at all, please reach me by facebook!  i’ll have limited internet access, so it might take a few days, but i’ll do my best to keep in touch!!  audios amegos.  lol